Crossing the bridge

Last night was a lot of looking back and revelation at how far I've come not just in the past year but in the past 8 weeks. The transition of my relationship went through much growing pains. What i see the most is the shift within me to no longer accept how I have been before. And if I want to live happier to do something about it and to speak up and to be open about everything. My convo with the bf made me see that how he has been hasn't changed much as it's how I've been taking it. Nothing is concrete here. But I can feel that our relationship is open to exploring the sweet love and vulnerability but also the harshness and realness of the real world. Many truths have come to the surface... Things that I really needed to appreciate and accept. Do I know of this man loves me? Yes I know. Do I know if I can prevent him from not taking me for granted? ... No I don't. But I can do everything to make sure i never take my own damn self for granted. Operating at the way I have been has been serving others at even the detriment of myself. Here I wanted to give and show him my new self and he wasn't really aware... He was focusing on other things. That's how he operates. The only thing I can do is pour more appreciation of myself into myself