New beginnings

“So therefore i dedicate myself to myself to my art, my dreams, my labours, my unique madness, my endless absorption and hunger- because i cannot dedicate myself to any fellow being.”

Jack Kerouac

Here I stand with life ahead of me. No place to hide.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life.

These moments happen. 4 graduation ceremonies and I know the routine. You move on to the next stage in your life.

I have been working at this spa for almost 4 years. While I was challenged from the day I walked through the door. I experienced the biggest challenge in being the unit manager for the past 11 months.

I have truly learned a lot about myself in the past 11 months. Many things I am proud of. Other things, I am not. But overall I am leaving this company a completely different person than when I walked in. And although there were many unpleasant moments, there were minor victories.

Here the day after my goodbye, I am almost scared of what's to come. I realize how absorbed I have been in the company. It's like I'm walking out into the sun after hibernating for a full year.
I am comfortable with what I know. And all I have known is this job.

I am grateful for this move. I just needed to get out but it is hard to let go. It disgusts me how hard it is for me to let go. But it's the institutionalized brain if mine I guess.

I can't explain the feeling that I have right now. It's def not security I feel. I am nervous and curious all at the same time .

I think I am now at the point where In order to get what you want you have to make drastic decisions. You have to take a leap of faith. You have to know when to let go and move on.