The Beauty in Me

Within the last few days I've had a few challenging conversations. Conversations that I know I would not be able to have a few years back. It's these moments that I cherish my life... From back then to now. How far I've come. Still, very grateful for the journey. 

The conversations have been based around my partner and his past relationships as well as the "threat" of those who are going to constantly lust after the both of us. Again, staying grounded within myself I could catch the moments where I could feel the ego taking over and I halted and pushed myself into the present. 

What I've found mainly is not just the trust that we have amongst each other staying strong but the new found confidence that is sprouting within me. I .. It was just an underlying aura that I knew I was a good catch and that I would not have to feel belittled or threatened by outside women. For most of my life and especially during my relationship I've suffered in this area mainly to a deep rooted insecurity. And these conversations were hard to confront but easier than ever before. And I do believe its because I believe in myself and my package. I also know that people make choices and actions based on themselves. So with all this new acquired information and wisdom, I'm finding that I feel less like a lump of shit when the idea that there are women who are more attractive or lusting after my man. I think he is going to be dumbfounded too. As he sees me continue to have a better reaction it has little to do with him as so much to do with the work that I have been doing on myself. I still get the feeling though that my partner sees the   potential underneath in me, but is still not as aware of the confidence budding. And you know what?....that is okay. It'll only be exciting when I surprise him too. 

My inner life is giving me the support to face threats. It's learning what is a real threat and what isn't. It is fun because its all mine and selfishly I'm sinking more and more into it. The suffering and feeling threatened by other beautiful people... Lol zzz ......it's a problem that I have but I'm learning heavily that im on a train with a lot of momentum. And the fear of regressing is also subsiding because it would be harder to stop the train at this point. We are going full force and my ....WHAT A RIDE!