Songwriter

I've been so busy doing other people's music I've been having an itch to write my own! Go figure! For the next 4 weeks I work till 1:45 and will wait till 4:30 to take a fitness class, so I'm gonna get my songwriting in at least one time a week for a couple of hours. Yes, I'm heavy on this music shit. Trying to mold and mend to the music. 

**songwriting in union square today**

A good problem to have!!

Soooo my workout pants which are already slim fitting keep falling down!! What a great problem to have! I'm so psyched and I'm just ready to move it to the next level! Silly if me to even say that because I haven't worked out in a week and a half. I'm breaking my exercise break with a barre strength class which is  probably commiting suicide but I do want to get serious about my strength training so if I'm maintaining 4 workouts a week half of that will be strength. We'll see how that goes. Ill be tracking my fitness routines and classes on myfitnesspal app. Wish me luck. Next level on this journey is gonna be painful but so worth it. 

A good problem to have!!

Soooo my workout pants which are already slim fitting keep falling down!! What a great problem to have! I'm so psyched and I'm just ready to move it to the next level! Silly if me to even say that because I haven't worked out in a week and a half. I'm breaking my exercise break with a barre strength class which is  probably commitig suicide but I do want to get serious about my strength training so if I'm maintaining 4 workouts a week half of that will be strength. We'll see how that goes. Ill be tracking my fitness routines and classes on myfitnesspal app. Wish me luck. Next level on this journey is gonna be painful but so worth it. 

Sweat and then some

So I haven't been completely consistent with my workouts but im still feeling the difference especially in my arms and legs. I feel them toning up and it's such a good thing! Yesterday I measured my waist and it is currently at 38 inches. This is the first calculation of my body that I have done for all these months since january. I realize now that I will need something to help me calculate and I think measuring my waistline is a great way to go to see progress. I won't do it all the time maybe just once a week. This will help me to get seriously motivated especially with my issues with food. 

Back against the wall

Times have been hard. And the easy feel of the new year is drifting away as I settle into mid-year. There are so many issues in my life circling around me...Love, Money, Family, Career. Nothing seems to be going my way. Today I felt myself falling into hopeless desperation. Tears burning my eyes. I allowed myself to wallow for a moment. I think my ego really needed it. But then I got up and decided to do something. Anything.  

What I am learning about myself is remarkable. Times are hard. And when I'm pushed up against the wall....that's when I really prove to MYSELF how strong I really am. 

A New Perspective to Uphold

Today I want to see the world. I have this under desire to really live. To see it all. 

I'm def at the point where I'm tired of waiting and hiding. I want to really live and experience wonderful things. I am ready to put myself out there. 

I still have insecurities though. I still am so sensitive to how people see me, think about me, and treat me. I wish they would see me as this beautiful being that is walking here on earth. Watching this young lady on the platform, I just felt like no matter what is wrong with her, she would get the benefit of the doubt more than I would. They say the grass is always greener....so I don't know it's just my own foggy perspective. In July, I'd like to focus on seeing myself as beautiful and worth it. If I was to get a tattoo, it would read, you ARE worth it! I spend so much time worried about what others think and how they think of me is how I think of myself. And I'm tired of trapping myself in that way. If this guy thinks I'm cute, then I think I'm cute. If I'm getting ignored or not enough attention, I feel like I'm back to square one... Not worthy enough. I wish to ground myself and find the inner happiness with me and who I am.