Going Backwards to go Forwards

If Life is But a Dream, then it has been my goal to learn how to navigate my dream, and to manifest my dream into the material world. On this Taurus New Moon, I am coming to revelations. Somewhere in the middle is the truth. Somewhere in the middle between the metaphysics and spiritual world, and the material world. So here I am, after going all over the place on my journey, I am learning that I must ground myself, believe in myself and STEP OUT OF THE CAR.

You can only go as far as your dreams allow you to see. Sometimes I have felt like I didn't dream big enough. Sometimes I have felt like my dreams are just to unachievable, to much for someone like me to attain. Sometimes I have felt like I can do all of my dreams, but then I cannot seem to get one thing off of its feet. I am learning that finding the finesse is being right down the middle. And its okay to dream and to dream big, but it also requires a strong work ethic, a material measure of growth, and the spiritual guts to keep pushing towards the stars.

I am allowing myself on this New Moon to dream big. To go for everything I believe I can do, but to remember and begin to plan it day by day. It will take my two hands and daily routines and efforts (Virgo NN transit and life path 4). It will take embracing the ordinary things about my days. Can I get myself to just feel good and in the right spirit to work? Can I enjoy the ordinary routines that will build to big major moves over time? Can I embrace my ordinary life while aiming for extraordinary things? This is where I am.

I know I will have deserved the success and the dream life, when I can look at myself and say that I put in honest work towards it.

Opening the Throat Chakra

On a Quest to open my throat chakra. Saturn in my 2nd house of throat and income, has been teaching me that there is a lot of resistance in my energy. I am easily a writer, my journey with 'The Artists Way' and the 'Morning Pages' really opened up my hands. But the throat has had its ups and downs. When exercising it, I have found incredible power in it. When dormant, it thoroughly is stagnant energy.. As much as i feel i am capable of expressing myself through word, it is now a quest for me to truly free myself to express through sound. This is a sensitive area of my body being Taurus ruled. I often get sore throats, fatigue quickly after talking for long amounts of time, and often feel that people don't "listen" in the sense that they truly can't hear me or understand. The throat being the connector to the Mind and the body, is allowing me to realize in this moment that the communication channels are often difficult to manifest when the throat chakra is out of balance.

It has also come to light about my situation with my teeth and I do see this as a connection to the throat as the teeth are imperative to the speech and the sound that comes from the throat. Today, I worked on meditation for the throat chakra and I was totally restless. That is what I observed of myself. When I go to meditation it ain't a problem for me to lock down. But on my own, and specifically today when attempting to do the throat meditation, i just could barely sit through 5 min. So now i have proof that this area is crying out for my healing and attention.

I often say I want to heal others with my music. I am now seeing that if I heal myself, it is guaranteed I can heal others. I'm really feeling committed to this journey as it has been a long journey understanding my throat and belief in my talents as a singer. I have been singing since a child, but often battled with being good enough or free enough to do throat "tricks" like riffs etc. I often love coming up with melodies, they are often beautiful and soulful. If I attempt to experiment with my flow though, it is a challenge to hear any quicker tempo or other melodies, i become entrapped in my own stagnant state of the throat. I know that this may be the key to unlocking my doors and I am coming to full realizations that the work I have been forcing and pushing this year, has taught me that again I can do anything my mind desires. What if I learned to use my force in a different way? What if I didn't have to push so hard? I do value hard work. But what if I didn't have to work so hard?

I can see myself working with melodies that come easily to me. I can see myself knocking out journals, blogs, poetry, thought ideologies, and most especially beautiful tunes. I am crafting an architecture of myself, a master builder of self. Lets begin...

Enchantress -- Resurrection of My Music

Its been a long time since I have blogged. But even then, Most of my blogs have been about my spiritual + fitness journey. I have enjoyed writing and reflecting because it has allowed me to purge the collection of troubled thoughts in my head. Now i'm ready to revamp myself. I currently have 4 blog channels where I write about my philosophies and thoughts. I see now that I have a deep desire to be heard and as i've been gaining momentum being a woman entrepreneur---I have put a lot of my own needs to the side and been pushing my business vigorously. But as i look at my blogs i SEE that I am the business. So I am reflecting and revamping again. Since this blog is called Krena Music, I am ready to turn back to the sound frequency and begin blogging about my journey to health through creating music. I am very excited to finally come back out as a musician. What I call myself is an enchantress. It has always been my dream to be a professional singer. Now at the tender age that I am, I feel more than ready to make this dream a reality. Everything that I do is an accumulation to me desiring to be this empowering performer.

The Enchantress Chronicles begins now.

Facing Harsh Truths

I have been understanding Karma for a while now. Ever since Saturn came to visit me in 2012 and I made the biggest move out of my own prison and left my job,  I have danced with the knowledge of the power of Saturn. So as I approach my life today and the relationships in it, i take responsibility for all of them. Some might find this to be unbearable and slightly sadistic, but there is ultimate and infinite power when you are capable of seeing that you are the karma, everything you created does come back to you. I approach my relationship with the understanding necessary and now I think its important to be the change that I wish to see in them.

I want so much for others to "get" what I'm doing, but maybe its the very fact that they don't get it that makes me do it. And for my relationship, where he is discovering his own path, that I encourage him to go at it alone. For it is my karma that the attachment has become so strong that it is literally suffocating. And for another time of reflection I get a dose of my own spell. So I stick with the relationship in the knowing of the karmic reward that comes with such a kind of love. Love that is learning to let go of conditions and take responsibility for what it has created. I desire to look back at these times and see it was a sliver of a phase and that ultimately it was totally worth it. And I already say it is so; so it is. In fact we are merely steps away from collecting what is due. So I want him to see what i'm doing is real to me, but I don't have to because its important for both of us to experience what it feels like to go down our own paths. And I want to be the change I want to see by supporting him on his individual path. The more I do this, the more I feel the new phase of this relationship.

What is interesting to me is the constant denial of Music being metaphysical. But not just music, but the whole industry. My witches (wise women) get it. They know everything is thickly coded, but it is my musician "friends" who seem to be stuck in the old traditional Capricorn way of seeing the industry. Fit into a mold, invest money, find a niche etc. The funny thing is I do see what they see. It's just do they see what I see? That when metaphysics is applied, all of these other aspects of "industry" come together like a dance. I see now that there is much work to do. I have found my calling. For it has always been there waiting for me to find it. The true spirituality behind the vibrations and energetic frequencies of music. The enchanting poetry and spell with the lyrics, are all layers of the "industry" metaphysically that i have come to explore. Now I give myself the right to do so freely, publicly and unapologetically. "They" think they have it all figured out, but live lives lost. Maybe I do not have the fanciest car or house to live in. Maybe my edges aren't "laid" and shit, but I got knowledge and it feeds my soul. I got the gas. I have the key! The DARK HORSE is the answer to the problems in my world.

I want to learn to navigate this knowledge to help others while helping myself gain a better life. I do deserve the home that suits me and it is in the journey towards a better living environment that I learn even more about the metaphysics; therefore I am eternally grateful. I am so filled with gratitude for the people i am meeting everyday who remind me of who i am. I am grateful for the situations that I feel are burdens because they pressure me to become clearer and more refined in my shine. I desire to open doors for others. I take responsibility for the role i have chosen in this life. I will not be saddened when others mis-understand my energy; I will merely see that they are not ready. Just as I was once not ready. I will not judge others on their individual paths, even if it is in oppositional direction of mine. I will help them to love their own individual roles so that I too can learn to love mine. I often still feel feelings of jealousy, but i am learning to alchemize it into changing my position from follower to creator. This is why I overstand the jealousy that is directed at me. The more that I experience all aspects of human life, the more i can take from it and put it in my magick.

I feel everyone has a story, from birth to the present moment, we are trying to figure out what the full story is.

Changing Lanes & The Power of staying in your OWN

I never quite understood what it meant when people told me to stay in your own lane. As a natural rebel, I have understood this to be s form of control and it wasn't something I was down for. But as we mature and learn more of what this really means, we come to a place where the things we didnt understand come pouring in with light and knowledge.

Lately my endeavors and rituals on facebook have been agitating me as I see other starseeds doing their thang, but not always taking responsibility for the response. I have observed that they merely want people to yes them all the way to success. And I have found some situations, okay... let me be better with my words.. I have judged some situations to be completely reckless. Now, i too am reckless, so already i'm making a double judgement. But what really was the problem for me was that when I would respectfully disagree, they would not give me the answer I was looking for... which ultimately was compliance. And then in great epiphanies that come to me on the regular, i realized that I cannot control others and when i get out of my lane, thats what ends up happening.

So when someone says "Stay in your own lane" it may not be to have control over you, but it teaches you to have control over yourself and your own work, agenda, vision etc. Often when you start changing lanes, is when you begin to crash into others. So its imperative for those who are like me with the karma, crash identity to really embrace the beauty of driving down solo in our own lane. Only then can we learn the beauty of control, which is to manifest your own destiny.

I have begun a very intimate relationship with the darker side of me. I recognize that this side of me unleashes itself constantly on facebook, because it can be a low vibrational platform sometimes, depending on the state of my own mind. So often, if not in the right state, I know myself to be provoked by jealousy, which is really a disease of the mind in being a follower. Sometimes it is amazing to be a follower and you are inspired by others like how i have been for several youtubers, 13signsastrology, fleurbrun, Makalesi and so many others. But often, when we are following people who are not at our frequency it can cause us to have lower feelings which are really signals alerting us to get out of the following role. This leader is no longer serving you, and its time to become your own leader. It is time to create your path. To create you own lane.

Now as I see some people on my facebook growing and changing their paths, opening up to ideas and frequencies that i have been following, they begin to resonate with me in a different way. Thus, I realize that everyone has their own journey. And when I release the need to control other people's journey, I am instantly open and free to operate in mine. I realize that I have been feeling limited due to the nature of some ideas. But truly when I get back in my own lane I see clearly that what I am doing, and have been doing is solid, light spreading work. Just like how others are doing on my timelines. So its imperative for me to shine brighter, to do what I have been called to do, which is not like any other. I am learning that a "following" is not important to grow as much as my own lane will. When I cave out a path, and leave a trail behind, others will follow and i will be fulfilled in learning that I have had an impact on others. So now I have a new way of looking at things.

My code of ethic for staying in my own lane resides in various understandings and morally laid out plans. I will continue to do what I desire to do, despite my fears or what others will think of me. I will take calculated action, and be integral with my words, but I will not stunt or slow myself down to a stop anymore. I will not change lanes, unless I feel its time for me to react or dodge from others, or take an initial move in order to protect my work. I do not desire to stunt others and their work only help and encourage them. If my words are not helpful or encouraging then I will transform them into fresh energy to use for myself.

DAWNING: When the Light seeps in the Cracks

I have been waking up with a special angelic message. It is as if my higher self is talking to me, whispering to me the secrets of the universe. I try my best to hold on. I typically get the big picture, but I can't remember all the details she said just before my eyelids open to the morning. I have grown accustomed to her company, as Jupiter transiting in my 12th house, is revealing to me the angels amongst us.

I have always had a divine understanding of spirit, but it has not always been something I could fully grasp. Even now, i'm looking for something, but I don't know what it is. I hear spirit more than I see it. I hear it in the birds, I hear it in the trees, and I hear it in my ears as I arise. I believe spirit is always there, always with me, but I just never was listening for it.

Constantly swarmed with thoughts about what I need to be doing, I have often found myself going in circles. I feel my potential. Its like a divinely, rich cup of coffee waiting to be sipped. I see the possibilities of my future, and I want to manifest it so bad. But the thoughts seem to slip away from me just as quickly as they come. I feel I need to hold a 'thought trap' in my pocket just so as it comes I can record it and never forget. There is always a part of me that wants control and organization. And there is another part of me battling with living in the moment. I feel there is a deep fear that I will have wasted my life away if not seizing the opportunities. And when I do, seize those opportunities, I still feel like I am coming up short.

I'm always trying to find the rhythm to my days. When do I clean, when do I play, when do I work. I inherently desire to play and live life like i'm always on vacay. But, too much play and I wake up to the stench of all that I have neglected. There is apart of me that desires to live light and free... enjoying every action that I take, embracing the memories. And there is apart of me that is disgusted at the actions I miss, the opportunities that keep passing me by, and the constant insecurity that I'm not really sure what i'm doing. I feel the weight of my actions as I see no one is really giving me the support I need. So much need that i have. Sometimes I wish I did not need anything at all.

I am hoping that in this year, in this time, I can find my bliss. I'm so tired of not knowing. I am ready to have the sure knowing that my life is important.

My forgotten Chosen Path

This blog has been through many different paths as I've merely reflected upon the different journeys i've begun. But truly the ancestors and guides have reminded me that it all started with Music.

And its so interesting, that at this point in my life, I no longer have the need to be the famous superstar singer that I thought I was gunning for all this time. This is because I've learned how music has been my most spiritual tool and guide throughout my life, and it no longer has the longing to be famous for riches and fame sake. Its truest gift has been to open my heart to unconditional love and acceptance of my unique self and others. It is my bible. It is my coping mechanism. And it is my healing.

But there is a part of me that is always longing to keep music in my life and at the forefront of what I do. It has now grounded itself in confidence that it no longer needs approval of a grammy award to be what it is for me; to be what it always has been for me in fact. And my entire relationship with my music, especially now is divine, and apart of me. So why is it that I keep leaving it behind now?

I believe that it is always in my pocket, guiding me and when I put it in front of me it will guide me continuously. But maybe i'm afraid to put it out in front of me because I know it is mine. But thats whats beautiful about being an Artist is that even though it was yours, you share it with the world for them to see you was there; you lived. And my music tells a story, of me once where I needed something and of now... where I have found and discovered it. It really is a beautiful thing. I see now that the Universe wants me to remember to never forget my first love.

It all started with music. I used to tell my subconscious that I would never forget to keep my music as my roots. I never wanted to be the kid in music school that changed her career path and left music behind me. I always believed I would become the singer I desired. And even though, I didn't know what it would look like, i feel I see now what it is. I see that its the time i've been waiting for...
All I have to do is remember.